Livia
by thesimplegirl
Summary: They would sacrifice everything for each other, but is love ever enough? SeverusOC
1. Default Chapter

Livia

A/N: I started a story a few months ago called The Last of the Winter Roses. I didn't like how that turned out, so I rewrote it as this. This is pretty much brand new, and moves more quickly but keeps my original characters and basically the same overall premise. Please read and review!

Prologue

He was dreaming of a blood red moon, hanging silently in a starry sky. A creaking sound drew him from his restless sleep, and his dark eyes fluttered open. His breath stilled as a shadow moved across his bed, and his mother appeared at his bedside. Her skin was so pale it was almost translucent in the moonlight, and the ghostly image sent shivers up his spine. Before he could speak she lay a cold hand on his forehead, brushing aside his long black hair.

"I have to go away." She whispered, her dark eyes shining. "But only for a little while."

Severus Snape nodded, too stunned to respond. He suddenly felt very small and alone, and silently pleaded with his mother not to leave.

"I'll stay until you're sleeping." She said, smiling in spite of her tears. "Do you remember when I used to sing to you?"

He did remember, though he would never admit the truth. At eleven he was still very much a child, innocent and shy, but strived always to be stronger and wiser.

His mother began to sing a familiar song, one that she loved. Severus shut his eyes, and let her voice carry him through memories of days long ago, spent safe and secure in her warm arms. Soon he drifted off into an untroubled sleep, her voice lingering in his dreams.

When he awoke to the hesitant rays of the morning sun, his memories of the night before took on the hazy quality of a dream. He felt vaguely anxious, but at the same time was convinced that he must have been his own imagination. His mother would never leave him, though she might have been quiet and frail, she was loving and dependable.

His heart began to beat a painful pace when he came downstairs to find the kitchen empty, the hearth cold. His mother never slept in, unless it was his father's hand that drove her to bed. His breath quickening, he searched the rest of the small house. Finding each room empty and cold, he began to panic. This couldn't be happening, any moment he would wake up and find that this too had all been a dream.

He raced back up the stairs, and threw open the door his parents bedroom. His father was standing at the side of the stripped bed, toweling his hair dry. A crumpled pile of dirty clothes lay at his feet.

"Where is she?" Severus asked in alarm, suddenly unable to catch his breath.

His father glared at him, and waited a long while before answering.

"She ran away with some...muggle." He spat out the last word with such a venomous tone that Severus began to back away from the door.

Severus crept backwards towards the doorway, his hands searching for something steady to grasp onto.

"If you ever mention her in this house again..." His father began, his teeth clenched together.

There was no need to finish his sentiment, anything would have sounded frivolous. Severus knew full well what his father was capable of, having experienced much of it himself.

"I won't." Severus croaked, his eyes beginning to sting.

He brushed past Severus, pushing him aside. Once he had disappeared down the creaking stairs, Severus bolted for this mother's old oak wardrobe, frantically throwing the doors open. Her clothes still hung inside, untouched. They smelled of her, a rich scent of powder and peppermint, but without her to fill them in, they hung like lifeless ghosts. It scared him in a way he couldn't describe, but at the same time he longed to climb inside and surround himself with everything that was hers.

"Severus!"

He could hear father shouting from downstairs, he wouldn't want to be kept waiting. Severus slowly turned towards the door, feeling almost as if he was turning his back on her. She would come back, she had too. His mother would never leave him, she was too much a part of him to ever go.

As he made his way down the stairs to met his father, he resolved himself not to cry. He would simply have to wait patiently for her. He knew if he waited long enough she would come back.

He would never stop waiting.


	2. The Invitation

Chapter Two: The Invitation

A/N: Please read and review! I really appreciate it so much.

_Severus Snape's Sixth Year_

Severus stared down at the transfiguration book, and rubbed his eyes as the words began to blur together. His exam was only in hour, and he could already feel the panic setting in. Up in the common room he could hear the familiar hoots of laughter and excited shouts. Tomorrow they would be going home for the summer, and it seemed that everyone was trying to fit an entire two months worth of mischief into a single day.

"Merlin forbid they actually study." Severus muttered, but in truth he was more jealous that annoyed.

Who cared if they studied? No doubt they had rich pampering parents at home, who didn't care whether or not they could transfigure a bottle cap into a dragon's egg. Transfiguration was his weak spot, and if he didn't nail this test..

Severus slammed the book shut. He couldn't panic, not again. Maybe a walk would clear his mind.

He reached for hiswell wornschool robes before changing his mind, and throwing them back down on the bed. There was always the danger of running into Sirius, Potter, and the rest of their moronic friends. Their last encounter had resulted in Severus nearly being expelled, and the mere thought of having to rely that piece of news to his father made him feel sick. Thankfully Professor Dumbledore had taken Severus' side in the matter, but he doubted that next time he would be so lucky.

Severus sat back down, and flipped the textbook back open. He heard footsteps running down the stairs, and rolled his eyes up towards the ceiling. The Slytherin boys in his years both hated and feared him, and took particular pains to taunt him whenever his wand wasn't near. He had dueled with nearly all of them, and always won. He knew more hexes that anyone, and thanks to Sirius and Potter was becoming an expert in counter curses as well.

He pretended to be deeply engrossed in his book as Avery, Crabbe, and Goyle, entered with a burst of noise.

"I told you that I've gotten one" Avery was saying, as he moved towards his trunk. "Even that little twit Black did."

Severus sighed at the mention of Regulus Black. The young boy was a particular thorn in his side. In his eagerness to prove that he was nothing like he brother, he had latched onto Severus like a nasty leech. He didn't want to admit that he was scared of the other boys, who had hexed him so badly for his brothers misdeeds that he missed the entire first week of classes.

"I swear that every pureblood Slytherin did." Crabbe said, slowly as always. "At least everyone who's worthwhile."

Severus glanced up, his curiosity peaked. He doubted they could be talking about anything interesting, but still...

"You got one, right Severus?"

The three boys looked his way, each smiling strangely.

"What you idiots talking about?" Severus sighed, shaking off a feeling of unease.

"The invitation...you did get one, right?" Avery said, suppressing his laughter with a mock sigh.

Severus sat rigid and still, sensing that he was about to be embarrassed yet again. He ignored them, and began to collect his books. They could think whatever they wanted.

"Oh come on Severus, don't be upset." Avery laughed. "Lucius Malfoy only wanted the very best Slytherins at his wedding, and I personally doubt that you qualify greaseball."

Crabbe and Avery burst into loud hoots of laughter as Severus attempted to hide his reddening face behind his dark hair as he walked quickly towards the stairs. He could have cared less that he had been left out once again. Lucius Malfoy had graduated five years ago, and have never paid any particular attention to Severus while he was here. He didn't want to be one of them anyway, not really. Stupid snotty purebloods who boasted about their big estates, their racing brooms, and which family that married into.

Severus charged into the common room, and slammed his book down in front of a group of first years.

"Move!" He growled, glad for someone to abuse.

The first years scattered, and he took a seat of the green velvet couch. He would finish studying, and the dunderheads he lived with would have to find someone else to mock. Before he had even opened his books he found Regulus sliding across the couch, so they were seated so close they were nearly touching.

"What." Severus said flatly, suddenly feeling very tired.

"I found this in Avery's trunk is morning, it has your name on it." Regulus whispered, shoving a crumpled paper into Severus' hand.

"What were you doing in Avery's trunk?" Severus asked, knowing the boy would not respond.

He was clever enough, but could be quite the little bastard.

"It's an invitation to Lucius's wedding." Regulus whispered, gleeful at his find.

"That's nice, but I'm not going." Severus said, staring down the other boy. "Now move."

Regulus looked shocked, and did not obey. Instead he stared blankly at him for a moment, before taking a deep breath and violently launching his words at Severus.

"You don't understand, you have to go! If you don't go..."

"Listen." Severus nearly shouted. "I am not, nor ever have been, interestedin even sharing the same air asthis pitiful group of bastards."

Regulus watched in a stunned silence as Severus shoved the invitation across the table at him and grabbed for his belongings before storming across the room in a rage.

If they didn't want him there, then he wasn't about to go. If was going to swallow his pride and beg for their friendship he would have done it years ago, when he really needed it. He didn't need them now, and was sure that nothing would ever change that.

Severus left Hogwarts the next day, expecting not to see his house mates until September. He had apperated home illegally, because his father couldn't be bothered to come to the city to collect him. This didn't bother Severus, he had been doing it for years. What bothered him was the sight that greeted him when he arrived home.

He quietly pushed open the kitchen door and dragged his trunk inside, hoping to judge his father's mood from a distance before meeting face to face. Tiffy, the family's house elf, scrambled towards the door.

"Young master!" She squealed, throwing herself around his legs.

Severus nearly yelped as a dampness spread around his knees, and was forced to push Tiffy off so he could get a better look at her.

"Lovley." He whispered, staring at the house elf's open wounds.

He couldn't stop his father from beating the small elf, but they couldn't possibly afford another.

"I'll take care of it." Severus said glumly, knowing there was nothing he could really do.

He walked cautiously into the darkened hall, moving towards the study. The air had a stale smell to it, as if the windows had not been opened in a very long while. He moved into the doorway, staring meekly at his father. The older man sat at his desk, his hands folded around his wand. Severus knew that he had been waiting for him, and this could not bode well.

"Severus, I give you chance after chance, and you never fail to disappoint me."

Severus blinked rapidly, as he tried to think of something that he had done. It was much too soon for his grades to have come, though his father could have written the school...but no, it couldn't be that.

"You're a pathetic waste of my time" His father said in a dangerous voice, rising slowly. "I expected so much of you, and again and again you fail me. Our family name will die with you, it will be worth nothing!"

His father's voice rose into a shout, and Severus started. It was his father's fault that his family had sunk into disgrace. They had once been rich and noble purebloods, but now they were as poor and ordinary as any muggle born. Their blood might have still been pure, but nothing else was.

Severus waited as his father calmed, but still kept a weary eye on his wand.

"If you could just tell me what I've done..." Severus began, but before he could continue something was thrown at him.

His stomach sank as he recognized the crumpled envelope...

"I was going to go." Severus said quickly, knowing his father's pride wouldn't allow him to turn down such an invitation. "I must have forgotten it. It was good was Regulus to send it."

"He didn't send it." His father said coldly. " Mr. Avery did, with a lovely description of how you have called them a pitiful group of bastards."

Of course, why wouldn't they use this to get him into trouble? By now everyone knew what type of man Severus' father really was, or had guessed well enough. Why couldn't they just leave him alone?

Severus swallowed a growing lump in this throat. To his father appearances were everything, name was everything, blood was everything...

"Are you a blood traitor Severus?" He father asked, drawing his wand up in the air.

"N-No!" Severus insisted, stuttering as a sickening feeling of dread overwhelmed him.

"You have no respect for the our ways!" His father shouted. "You might as well be, you little twit!"

Severus shut his eyes, he didn't want to see it coming. He could hear his father's magic cutting through the air, a split-second of absolute agony. He would never know what spell his father had unmercifully set on him until it had passed, and even then it would take hours for the tremors of fear to leave his slight gangly body.

His father could justify he was toughening him, and one day it would serve Severus well. He would go from being his masters favorite pet to his beating post and then back again in a matter of hours.

He couldn't know this then, he only knew that his father should have loved him, but he didn't.


	3. Severus Arrives

A/N: Thanks to my reviewers! I really appreciate it. Thanks for pointing out the spelling mistakes, I tried to proofread more carefully this time. By the way, the reasons why Severus' mother left will be explained in the future.

For Severus, the summer days passed more slowly than he ever could have imagined. It was an unseasonably warm summer, and each long hot day dragged on in a haze of boredom and discontent. Worst still, he could always summon a cooling charm to escape from the heat but had no escape from his father's unpredictable and often cruel temper.

It was only under the cover of darkness that Severus was able to feel at ease. As the unforgiving sun sunk into the horizon his father would also disappear to where ever it was he went, and Severus was able to freely roam the house and grounds beyond without fear of crossing the ill-natured man. Instead of fearing the darkness Severus embraced it, taking long walks in the lingering dusk and relishing the cool night air. Often he took Tiffy the house elf with him, walking the edge of the near-by wood in the comfortable silence of two creatures completely at peace.

In the shadow of the sliver moon Severus was able to forget nearly all his troubles, and concentrate only on the sounds of the dry grass crunching under his feet, or the soft breeze whispering through the trees. There was one dreadful thought however, that he somehow never managed to purge from his mind. The Malfoy wedding was quickly approaching, and Severus was overcome with a feeling of agonizing dread at the thought. At best it would be awkward and boring, but at worst it would provide yet another opportunity for Severus to painfully prove yet again how he truly didn't belong.

No matter how desperately Severus wished the day would not come, it approached like a predator in the distance. Finally one night Severus found himself stuck indoors, in the disgustingly hot sticky air, trying to force sleep to come. The next morning he would leave for the Malfoy Mansion, for three days of what was sure to be purgatory. Apparently it wasn't enough just to come the wedding, Malfoy had invited his guests for the entire weekend. Severus had learned from the owls he had received from Regulus (which he never answered of course), that Lucius had invited all of the Slytherins in his year and the next. This was hardly surprising, those who considered themselves true purebloods always stuck together in some sort of dysfunctional clan. What was surprising was that Severus was still considered part of this coveted group. His father apparently, was not. He had too many debts and had made too many enemies to be welcome in "good" society, but through some miracle that stain had not yet bleed onto Severus.

As he lay awake, casting one cooling charm after another, Severus wished for once that he had been left out. It would be easier to sink back into the rest of the wizarding world, however mundane he thought it was, than to force himself to be something he clearly was not. In his last waking thoughts, he listed for what felt like the millionth time, all the disadvantages that separated him from the rest. He had been isolated, he had no wealth, his family name was in near disgrace, and he had never been liked by anyone. With these unhappy thoughts plaguing his mind, he forced his eyes shut and slipped into a restless sleep.

0000

"You must never looked impressed." Severus' father lectured late the next morning. "Do you want them to think less of you?"

Severus listened silently, solemnly picking at the breakfast that Tiffy had prepared for him. He was too nervous to be hungry, but forced himself to eat. He was desperate to avoid any action that might invoke his father's anger.

"Lucius Malfoy would be a very valuable friend, Severus." His father continued. "If there is any opportunity to win his favor, you must take it."

Severus nodded, but inwardly scoffed at the thought. He doubted that Malfoy would clearly remember who he was, the invitation was a courtesy from one pureblood to another, just as his attendance was the duty of one pureblood to another. If his father believed this would be the key to all of the unlocked doors that kept the Snape family on the bottom steps of society's ladder, he must have been more delusional that Severus had ever believed.

"Should I go now?" Severus said at last, pushing his empty plate aside.

His father nodded, looking suddenly grim. Severus reached for his traveling bag, and allowed Tiffy to fuss and smooth out his robes. He reach for his wand, and fumbled when he felt the heaviness of his father's gaze upon him. He glanced up like frightened prey, sensing the older man's quickly darkening mood.

"I'll be back on Sunday morning, not too late." Severus said in a near whisper, his eyes purposely downcast.

He gasped when his father grabbed his wrist, and sunk his fingernails into the pale tender flesh of his forearm.

"This is your chance to make up for your pitiful existence." His father whispered in a low dangerous tone. "Prove to me that you're not completely worthless."

Severus sunk his teeth into his bottom lip, and shut his eyes tightly. He waited until his father had removed his hand and taken a step back, before waving his wand and disappearing with thunderous crack of air.

000

Severus found himself standing at the end of a long white-stone drive, staring up at a mansion so large it was breath-taking. Feeling foolish and unbelievably inferior in his second hand dress robes, he slowly made his way up to the house, his anxiety growing with each dreaded step. By the time he reached the towering front doors his knees were shaking, and his throat had gone dry.

With a thin shaking hand he reached for the dark silver knocker, then changed his mind and let his hand fall limply at his side.

"Stop!" He ordered himself in a frantic whisper. "Just get it over with."

No matter what his mind declared, he could not will his hand to move. He felt much like he had on his first day of Hogwarts, painfully shy, afraid, and sick with the knowledge that everyone already knew everyone else and would most likely team up against him.

"Do it!" He whispered again, this time a little louder.

"Do what sir?" A small voice inquired from behind him.

Severus drew in a horrified gasp, and spun around so quickly he lost his balance and had to steady himself. His heart began beating again when he realized it had been a house elf that had walked in upon his private moment of uncertainty, and thankfully not anyone that would give him grief over it.

"Henny thinks you must be here for master Lucius." The house declared, opening the doors with a wave of her tiny wrinkled hand. "Henny will bring you to him."

Severus nodded, and gratefully followed the small elf into a large marble foyer. Forgetting his father's orders not to seem impressed, Severus' eyes drank in the room with a barely restrained awe. Two large staircases framed the room, leading up to a large second floor balcony. Two hallways led from either side of the room, and with a glance Severus could tell each were lined with any number of expensive paintings and priceless sculptures.

"Master Malfoy is receiving his guests on the veranda, follow Henny." The house elf proclaimed, gesturing for Severus to come along.

He followed her down the long wide hallway, lagging behind as he stared at the beautiful works of art he passed. Some were enchanted, moving about in their own painted worlds or even shouting out to greet him, while others were obviously muggle made. The subjects trapped forever in the golden frames were still, but somehow seemed more alive than any Severus had ever seen.

"Just in here sir." Henny said, leading him down another hall and then out of two large glass doors.

Severus nodded his thanks, before hesitantly stepping outside. The veranda was large, with a broad ceiling protecting it from the sun. Tall columns lined the edges of the stone floor, lengths of white silk draped in between which drifted gently in the summer's breeze. Beyond lay a sprawling colorful garden, with bubbling fountains, fragrant flowers, and tall green hedges.

The sound of musical laughter drew Severus hesitantly towards the other end of the veranda, which otherwise appeared to be completely deserted. A soft breeze caught a length of silk and drew it up dancing into the air. Through the thin fabric Severus could see two obscured figures in white sitting on a bench, their heads bowed together like were sharing a secret. Pushing the silk aside, Severus took a trembling step forward. It was the dark haired girl that caught his eye first. She was sitting on her knees, a long white skirt tucked under her legs. A cascade of long black hair was draped over her shoulder, and she glanced toward him with a excited glimmer in her eye. He felt himself going pale, but only lost his breath when he looked at her companion.

She had been laughing, her fair cheeks turned pink and her red lips drawn up into a smile. Her golden blond hair was pulled back in an intricate style, with curls twisting down to rest on her nape of her neck. Her dress was nearly identical to her companion's, white, demure, and perhaps a bit old fashioned, but she had tied a thick green ribbon around her waist, framing her slight figure. Her laughter died when her bright green eyes flickered in his direction, and she tucked a stray wisp of hair behind her ear as if she was embarrassed to be caught in a moment of unrestrained mirth.

Suddenly feeling extremely awkward and embarrassed, Severus quickly looked down at his shoes, his breath catching in his throat. The girls feel silent as well, and he had the awful feeling that they were quietly assessing him with their bright eager eyes.

"Severus!" A smooth drawling voice echoed from behind. "Good of you to come."

Lucius Malfoy was walking across the veranda, wearing a broad smile. Severus immediately turned, wearing a startled expression. After a moment of indecision he extended his hand, but was caught off guard when Lucius chose to embrace him instead, as if they were old friends.

"So sorry I wasn't here to met you, I have some pressing business to take care of." Lucius explained. "I see you've met my sister Livia."

He gestured towards the blond girl, who nodded her head.

"That's Esra Lufkin, a friend of the family."

The dark haired girl smiled, and then leaned over to whisper something in her friend's ear. Livia nodded at what was said, and then both girls rose, smoothing out their long white skirts.

"Everyone is in the garden." Lucius explained, taking Severus by the elbow. "I'll introduce you."

Severus silently began to follow, feeling a slight unease at Malfoy's overly warm reception. Perhaps the young man wasn't as cold as Severus had remembered him? After all, Severus had only been a little first year, constantly underfoot and causing trouble. It could be understandable why Lucius hadn't given him the time of day then...

"Wait!" Esra implored, hurrying to reach them. "Can't we come as well?"

A dramatic smile graced Lucius' face, one that struck Severus immediately as being fake.

"Ladies, it will just be us gentlemen. I promise you would be very bored. Stay here, out of the sun. Call Henny and have her bring you something to drink."

"But Bellatrix is..." Esra protested, her voice falling away when Livia reached over and clamped her hand down on her forearm.

Without another word Lucius turned again, and quickly walked off of the veranda and into the bright sunshine. Severus followed, struggling to match his rapid pace. He turned only once, catching a glimpse of the two girls huddled together, whispering intensely.

"Are you coming?" Lucius asked, slightly annoyed to find the younger boy lagging behind.

Severus said nothing, but quickly closed the gap between them. They walked the garden path in silence, until Lucius stopped sharply beside a wall of hedges that grew tall overhead. It reminded Severus of the hedge mazes he had seen in pictures, only there was no way inside that he could see.

"I very much enjoy this part of the garden." Lucius explained, pausing to pull his wand from his robes "It's very private, some of the house elves don't even know this is here. There is no danger of our little party being interrupted by...outsiders."

With a whispered incantation an opening in the shape of archway appeared in the brush, and Lucius gestured for Severus to step through. He had the odd feeling of being in a dream as Lucius followed, sealing the entrance shut behind them. Cloistered hidden between the walls of greenery was a large stone mosaic complete with a bubbling fountain, with many boys that Severus recognized from Hogwarts standing scattered around it.

"Quite nice, isn't it?" Lucius said, tucking his wand back in his robes. "My father had it built in the image of the square beside our mansion in Venice, it was very costly of course."

Severus nodded dumbly, unsure of what to say. He followed Lucius into the gathering of young men, averting his eyes whenever they passed someone he recognized.

"Regulus Black has been waiting for you to arrive." Lucius said over his shoulder. "The young man seems to have an overwhelming amount of confidence in you."

"I've taught him some simple hexes." Severus spoke for the first time, his voice so low Lucius had to strain to hear him. "But that was really all."

"Yes, I imagine you must have felt sorry him. One can never be held responsible for one's family, can they Severus?"

Feeling this was a direct reference to his father, Severus nodded enthusiastically. Malfoy smiled smugly, and then led them towards Regulus. He was standing beside a very pretty woman who Severus didn't recognize, wearing a troubled expression.

"You already know Regulus of course." Lucius drawled, turning on his charms again. "This is my very beautiful future sister-in-law, Bellatrix Lestrange."

Regulus smiled, looking relieved. Bellatrix stared at Severus for a moment, sucking in her cheeks.

"Bellatrix, this is Severus Snape." Lucius continued. "He's something of a mentor to Regulus here. I'm sure he knows more dark magic than even you."

Lucius followed this with an amused laugh, while Bellatrix raised one perfectly sculpted eyebrow.

"I doubt that." Bellatrix sneered, and with a rustle of silk turned and sauntered away slowly in the other direction.

Evidently in a matter of seconds Severus had been weighed, measured, and found wanting. Not sure whether to feel embarrassed or angry Severus chose instead to turn to Regulus, who looked much more at ease now that Bellatrix had gone.

"I have some business to see to." Lucius said, suddenly agitated. "Regulus, see to our friend please."

Lucius quickly followed Bellatrix, his shoes tapping on the colorful stone bricks underfoot.

"Don't worry about Bellatrix." Regulus said, once Lucius was out of earshot. "She doesn't care for me either."

Severus offered a grim smile, feeling vulnerable without Lucius to guide him. He didn't know half the people here, and the ones he did know disliked him.

"You see that man looking at us? That's Rodolphus Lestrange." Regulus gestured towards an imposing man standing beside the fountain. "He's married to Bellatrix, and that man next to him is his brother, Rabastan."

Rabastan caught them staring back, and tipped his hat in their direction. Regulus looked pleased with himself, and wasted no time in grabbing Snape's arm and tugging him in their direction.

"Lucius said I should introduce you around, come on."

Severus paled a little, but followed none the less. What was he do? If only he was on his own he could stand safely in the corner, and avoid these painfully embarrassing meetings. But that would seem rude, and at the moment he much more to lose by angering everyone than by making a fool of himself.

He might as well follow Regulus around and shake some hands, anyway he was sure he would soon be forgotten. To these people, he must seem as insignificant as a house elf. Anyway, what was the worst that could happen?


	4. Invisibility

The appearance of dusk on the horizon sent a very weary Severus Snape back into brightly lit mansion. The afternoon had passed quickly, and had not been nearly as horrible as he imagined. Most of the wizards that Severus met had been nice enough, and he had the feeling that for once he was being treated as an equal. The thought made Severus restless inside, like he was eager for something he couldn't begin to describe. Even his house mates had been, if not friendly, at least civil. Avery had even asked Severus about his summer, though he didn't bothered to really listen to his reply.

The only person that had made Snape feel ill at ease was Bellatrix. Several times he had looked up to find her staring him down, a fiery gleam in her dark eyes. She was always surrounded by a group of men, something Severus was grateful for. He had the awful feeling that if she had been alone, she would have approached him. There was something about her that made Severus nervous, and he had no desire to discover why.

Before dinner Severus took refuge in the guest room that would be his for the weekend. The room was more luxurious than any in his entire home, though from the slight stale smell the air held Severus guessed it was not used very often. He knew it must be an ridiculously large home just for two people. It was only Lucius and his sister, though he could only assume Narcissa would join them now. Severus could still remember the day nearly a year ago when their father had died. He had not known the man personally of course, but there was a whole spread in the Daily Prophet about him. For a moment, Severus wondered how he would feel if it had been his own father that had died. Relieved, probably.

Pulling a chair over to one of the room's large windows Severus pushed it open, and then sat breathing in the fresh air. It smelled of richly of a summer's night, of that pivotal moment when the sun has sunk out sight and the air begins to hum with a new darker breed of life. From somewhere down below he could hear the sound of laughter, lively yet restrained. Squinting in the fading light, Severus saw two girls racing across the lawn, their white skirts flying behind them as the ran. He recognized them at once, Livia and Esra.

They slowed as they neared the house, and Severus watched transfixed as they shook out their skirts and smoothed down their hair. He had the odd feeling that he was seeing something private, though they were standing where anyone could see. His heart quickened when Livia's head turned in his direction, her eyes appearing to rest directly on his window. The rational part of his mind knew he would be no more that a shadowy form behind the glass, but his face still burned with a fierce blush that would no subside even after she had disappeared into the mansion.

Severus had always been an observer. Partly because it had always been his nature, but also because he had always been pushed into the shadows. After his first few months at Hogwarts Severus had learned quickly that it was better to be invisible than to suffer their jokes and taunts. But near invisibility had its benefits. From quiet corners and secluded back tables Severus drank in the world around him, his quick dark eyes catching everything. It was only a matter of time before his attention turned to the most important of subjects, girls.

He studied girls with the same boundless energy that he put into his books. It didn't take him long to discover something that it would take his peers years to realize. There were pureblood girls, and then there was everyone else. Pureblood girls, at least the one's he knew, were not like the other girls. The half-blood and muggle born's that roamed the school were prone to fits of passion. They cried in anguished heaving sobs over the silliest of things, but laughed with such an unrestrained joy that he envied them. They lit up when they spoke, their faces expressing every single emotion in vivid detail. They loved, learned, and lived with such an open passion that simply watching them left Severus exhausted.

The true pureblood girls, they were different. Severus knew what some grown men even did not, that they were the ones who might never reveal their true selves. Like fragile porcelain dolls their pleasantly dull expressions never changed, never betraying a single hint of a feeling. They spoke, and laughed and nodded with the precision of a mechanical toy. They never cried, at least not where they could be seen. They never stated an opinion that was too harsh, too extreme, or too forceful. It was a frightening thought, but Severus understood that even if you had such a girl, you could never have what lurked within. She would give herself entirely to you, all but what was inside.

Poor Severus did not know what frightened him more, the detached emotionless pureblooded girls, or the boundless passion which ruled every other.

All through dinner he watched Livia carefully, trying to guess at what kind of girl she was. She said very little, but smiled often. Her smile was intoxicating, but Severus knew her laughter was better. He wondered what it would take to get her to laugh, just for him. It was a foolish thought, she probably would never waste more than a few words on him in her entire life.

Half-way through dessert Severus caught her checking her teeth in the shiny silver reflection of her knife, she probably thought no one was watching. Maybe she didn't care.

When they all rose from the long table, the candles beginning to flicker out, Severus found her coming his way. Maybe she would pass close enough that he could lean in and catch the smell of her perfume. He wondered if she wore perfume at all.

Then his heart stopped, because she wasn't just passing his way. She was coming to talk to him.

"Do I have something in my teeth?" She asked, titling her head in confusion.

"I...no." Severus said quickly, feeling like a blubbering fool.

Livia paused for a moment, as if she was considering something.

"I just thought that I might, because you were staring at me all night."

Severus felt his throat close up. Evidently, he was not as invisible as he thought.

"I'm sorry." He mumbled in apology, cursing himself because he knew that he was blushing.

To his surprise she laughed, and Severus felt his heart soar. Somehow he had made her laugh.

"I have better go." Livia whispered, leaning in close like she was about to share a secret. "My keeper calls."

Severus jerked his head, he saw Lucius standing in the open doorway, gesturing for Livia to follow. She brushed past him, so close that he knew it could not have been an accident. Lucius stared at him for a moment, but it was impossible to tell what he was thinking. Hopefully he was not angry, no doubt he would hex Severus into the next lifetime if he thought he was flirting with his sister.

Of course they had not been flirting, not really. Severus had barely said two words. But she had laughed, just for him.

As his adolescent emotions tangled in the pit of his stomach Severus went back to his room, and then crawled into bed. He wasn't tired, but forced himself to sleep. It wasn't healthy to think of Livia, to obsess over something he knew he couldn't have. If she ever spoke to him again he would be lucky.

When sleep came at last he dreamt of a room with a thousand mirrors. In each he saw not his own reflection, but a vision of his mother. In daylight he could barely remember what she looked like, a single crinkled photograph serving as his only reminder. Yet somehow, in his dreams, she appeared to him with sparkling clarity. Livia was there as well, sitting in the corner watching. She waited as he circled the room slowly, engrossed in his mother's image. Then she rose, and with one swift flick of her wand smashed all of the mirrors. Livia began to cry, and Severus moved to comfort her. But then, from the shattered glass his mother rose, her body red with deep bloody gashes. Her lips moved, but no sound came free. She was trying to tell him something.

Severus awoke to the sound of his own muffled screaming, and the feel of a cold clammy hand pressed tightly against his mouth.


	5. Bellatrix

A/N: A special thanks to Verity Brown, who has been so wonderful about reviewing this story!

Severus struggled to push himself up onto his elbows, fighting against the heavy weight which rested on his chest and pinned his head against his pillow.

A bubble of panic rose up in his throat, escaping in a muffled scream. A darkened figure was above him, smothering him. He was being murdered in his own bed.

"Shut up!" A familiar voice hissed. "It's just me."

The damp hand was removed from his mouth, and Severus greedily gulped in a breath of cool air. There was a soft shuffling noise as his mistaken attacker jumped up from the bed and then struggled to light a candle with the tip of his wand.

"Regulus?" Severus asked, peering into the darkness.

After an unbearably long moment before the candle was lit, and the dark space between them was illuminated with a soft flickering yellow light.

"Merlin! I thought you were having a fit or something." Regulus exclaimed, sounding oddly casual, as if it were completely normal for him to have been practically smothering the older boy, in his bed, in the middle of the night no less.

"What the hell is wrong with you!" Severus shouted in a burst of anger, viciously kicking himself free of his sheets.

Regulus backed away fearfully, as if Severus were a rabid animal intent on ripping him apart.

"Shhh!" The younger boy pleaded meekly. "You don't have to get all..."

His voice faltered as Severus sprung free of the bed, and yanking his wand from the night stand, pointing it directly at his chest.

It was well known in Slytherin house, and in the school beyond, that when it came to dark magic Severus was a force to be reckoned with. He was not as quick a draw as the other boys, and his aim was not nearly as true, but under the right circumstances Severus could unleash a hundred horrific spells that were as frightening as they were powerful.

With this well in mind Regulus let out a fearful cry, and clumsily drew his own wand out as protection.

"What are you playing at?" Severus demanded, his cheeks blazing with an angry intensity.

"I had to wake you!" Regulus desperately explained. "I knocked but you didn't answer. So I just came in..."

"And tried to kill me?"

Severus found it hard not to shout, but was suddenly keenly aware of how the forcefulness of his voice cut through the hollow silence of the mansion.

"No!" Regulus insisted, foolishly dropping his wand and holding his hands out in a apologetic and pleading gesture. "I swear to Merlin I thought you dying or something. I tried to shake you awake and you started screaming..."

"I did not!" Severus countered, his nostrils flaring in anger. "You're making that up."

"No! I swear you were."

Severus paused for a moment, he held his wand steady but bit his lip as he thought. He had been dreaming, though he couldn't exactly remember what the dream had been. It was hazy and fragmented now, only the briefest memory of blooded glass and a woman's cry remained.

"I suppose I had a bad dream." Severus reluctantly admitted, lowering his wand.

Regulus sighed in relief, and drew his hands up over his chest, thankful for every breath.

"But I still don't understand why you're here in the first place." Severus wearily sunk back down onto the soft bed. "I hope you aren't that desperate for company."

"Not nearly." Regulus said, managing a weak smile. "Bellatrix sent me."

There was a silent moment as Severus'sgroggy mind tried to place the name. When it finally did his eyes widened. Bellatrix, theattractive yet somehow extremly frightening witch he had met this afternoon. The one who had insulted him, and had been staringdaggers at him.

"What for?" Severus asked, a thinly veiled panic in his voice.

"She didn't say." Regulus answered, almost too quickly.

Severus eyed the younger boy wearily.

"No really, she didn't say." He insisted. "You're guess is as good as mine."

"Why did she send _you_?" Severus narrowed his eyes at the boy.

"I was up anyway. Besides, why do you care?"

Severus glared at him, and then crawled across the bed reaching for the robes hehad discarded earlier.

"I'll wait outside." Regulus offered glumly. "Might as well walk you down."

Severus felt like a man being led to his execution. His robes were already damp with sweat, even though the night air was cool. Following Regulus down a flight of stairs and through a maze of long hallways he had nothing to occupy his mind other than the fate which awaited him.

"Honestly, she's not that bad." Regulus said over his shoulder, mistaking Severus's fear for disdain. "She's just blunt, that's all."

Regulus stopped in front of a pair of towering oak doors.

"The library." He explained, as he struggled to push one open.

When he stepped inside Severus felt oddly at ease, almost as if he had come home. The room was filled with musty yet wonderful smell of books. They lined every wall straight up to the impossibly high ceiling, thousands of thick leather bound treasures begging to be explored. So much in awe of his surroundings that he forgot his fright, Severus blindly moved into the center of the room.

Bellatrix sat before the fireplace, her skin softly illuminated in its warm glow. She rested on a long settee, lying spread out like a vision of leisure and elegance. If he was not terrified of her, Severus would have thought she was strikingly beautiful. A man he remembered as her husband Rodolphus sat in an overstuffed chair beside her, cradling a nearly overflowing glass of whiskey in his hands, staring down longingly into the dark amber colored liquid.

"What took you so long?" Bellatrix demanded in a slow yet forceful drawl. "I'm growing tired."

She worked on an exaggerated yawn, before swinging her legs over onto the floor. Severus stared at her long red nails as she patted the empty space she had made on the settee.

"Come and sit."

Regulus gave him a little shove, and Severus hesitantly stepped forward. Once again he was keenly aware of the trickle of nervous sweat down his back, and the aching empty feeling in the pit of his stomach.

"Sit down, I won't bite." Bellatrix said flippantly.

Rodolphus snorted into his drink, but Bellatrix quickly silenced him with a long withering stare.

Severus sat down rigidly, not sure whether he should turn his body towards Bellatrix, but instead straining his eyes to stare in her direction without making it obvious.

"Go to bed cousin." Bellatrix lazily waved her hand in Regulus's direction. "I wouldn't want to keep you from your sleep."

Regulus looked like he was struggling not to speak. Several times he opened his mouth, only to quickly shut it again. It was painfully clear he didn't want to leave, but did not have to nerve to plead if he could stay.

"Go!" Bellatrix suddenly shouted.

Severus jumped, startled, and bit down hard on his tongue. He ignored the throbbing pain in his mouth, and stared longingly at the great oak doors as they shut behind Regulus.

"Now Severus." Bellatrix almost purred. "Let's you and I have a little chat."

Rodolphus snorted into his drink again, but Bellatrix ignored him.

Severus stopped breathing whenshe reached over and clamped her hand down on his chin. Her long fingernails dug into his skin as she forced him to turn his head, and look directly into her dark eyes.

"Do you know why you are here tonight?" She asked, wearing a wicked smile. "Why you are in my dear friend's mansion?"

Severus thought for a moment, wondering what would happen if he offered the wrong response. Would she hex him? Her fingers were still digging into his skin, and he could feel blood beginning to pool underneath the half-moon wounds her nails were making.

"Lucius invited me." Severus said softly, his voice almost comically muffled by the presence of her hand on his face.

"Yes, but only because I asked him too."

Bellatrix raised her eyebrows at him, and then pressed his lips together for a moment, before drawing her hand away. Nothing was said as she turned her hand over and examined the blood that had collected under he fingernails. Severus watched in a silent mix of awe and distaste as she ran a finger along her soft red lips, tasting his blood.

"Your talents are most impressive Severus." Bellatrix went on. "And I must admit your temperament leaveslittle to be desired. At least in this case.You were never one to make friends, were you Severus?"

"How do you know." Severus lost himself in the dark pool of her eyes, his fear was slowly being replaced by a feeling he could not name.

"I've made it my business to know." Bellatrix whispered, leaning in so close he could feel her breath of his face. "You could say its been my job."

Severus chewed on his lip, pondering this. He vaguely remembered overhearing a rumor, one that he found so ridiculous it had promptly been pushed aside.

"A young man of your talents could be of much use in certain...circles." Bellatrix chose her words carefully. "It depends of course, on your integrity. May I ask you something Severus, in confidence?"

She placed a hand on his knee, and smiled sweetly when he nodded. All at once he felt intoxicated and afraid.

"What do you think of mudbloods?" She spat out the word, as if it had dirtied her mouth to speak it.

Severus paused. He knew that word well enough, and had used it as an insult more times that he was fond to remember. In truth he had never thought it was wrong, because he alone knew the malic behind that word was not there. He didn't dislike people of 'dirty blood', at least not anymore than he despised some of his own housemates. True, he did sometimes fancy himself superior to them, but even that was a difficult game. He was wise enough to realize his pureblood status was a empty prize. It would not give him wealth, grant him good looks, or boost his intellect. In truth, he had been unable to see what all the fuss withblood was about. One day, he would realize this had been an extremely wise position.

"I despise them." He said at last.

It was not exactly the truth, but he knew it was what she wanted to hear.

Bellatrix smiled, a reward for a good answer.

"I think you'll find that we have much in common." Bellatrix drawled. "And there are many more like me, you met many of them today."

Severus paused to consider the implication of her words. He had brushed off the rumors, laughed as the other boys whispered seriously of "death eaters" and a "dark lord" none would name. Could it have all been true?

"You seem very clever Severus." Bellatrix whispered. "I'm sure you understand it would be a very, very grave mistake to speak to anyone of this. Even your father."

Severus nodded quickly, a nervous elation building within him.

"You will hear from us soon." She continued. "Can you sneak away without being seen?"

Severus again nodded.

"I didn't doubt that you could. Remember Severus, I don't like to disappointed."

Rodolphus cleared his throat, and Bellatrix turned towards him. In the intensity of the moment Severus had forgotten his presence.

"I'm going to bed, and I suggest you do the same." Bellatrix said to him, rising as she spoke. "Don't forget Severus, not a word to anyone."

Even after she had left, so much of her remained. The scent of her perfume hung in the air. The memory of her harsh movements stung his broken skin. He knew at once that his silence must be total and unyielding. The mere suggestion of her presence brought to mind all she might be capable of.

Somehow he found his way back to his room. He knew his mind was much too full for sleep. There was now so much to think about, to consider. Instead he drew back the curtains, and sat in the window sill. Dawn was breaking on the horizon, in a soft memorizing pallette of pinks and yellows. Severus knew this was the dawn of not only a new day, but of something else as well. What it was he could not say, but the thought calmed a desperate hunger inside him, one that he had never known existed until he was blessedly free of its aching desire.


	6. Livia

A/N: Thank you to all my reviewers! I'm really thankful for your feedback : )

There was a humming in the air, distinct yet somehow mysterious. Blue-gray eyes blinked open eagerly, anxious for a new discovery. The sound was far away and close by all at once, merging into something that was both sweet and sublime. Livia Malfoy had heard it many times before, but each was different and unique, something to look forward to. It was the sound of the birds nesting in the trees, the flowers slowly turning towards the sun, whispering voices still soft and raspy with sleep. It was the world coming awake, and in a deep secret place in her heart she believed it was all for her.

In so many ways she was as naive as she was clever. She was at a perilous age, where she believed she knew everything about the world but still remained blissfully unaware of it's dangers. At sixteen she was restless and desperate for excitement. It was only now, during the first hours of the day was she able to feel completely at peace.

Esra lay close by, her soft steady breathing lulling Livia in a calm trance. They had pushed their beds close enough together so their whispers would not be overhead, though in truth neither felt safe sleeping alone. Livia had balked when Lucius has suggested the girls sleep in separate bedrooms, after all there was room enough, he had laughed.

There was an innocent comfort between them, a complete understanding of the million things that no one else could begin to comprehend. They shared a sisterly intimacy, and neither could even begin to grasp what life would have been like without the other.

Livia had been a shy, frightened eleven year old when she arrived at Beauxbatons. Her father had sent away without explanation. This did not damper her love for him, but she would never be able to trust him as she once had. She had long suspected her father had done it to appease Lucius, but whatever the reason, she swore she would not have survived even a year at Beauxbatons without Esra. They were in the same year, and both were the only English girls in the entire school. Esra was vivacious and caring, and the two immediately became inseparable.

The only unpleasant moment in their friendship had been the somewhat hazy truth behind Esra's heritage. She had told everyone that she was descended from very noble pureblood family, whose fortunes had withered over time but whose name was still golden. Esra had told the story of her tragic upbringing, her parents dying within weeks of each other, she remaining poor yet proud, with such convection no one would have questioned it. Livia had only learned the truth by accident, when she had overheard Madame Maxime speaking to another professor.

"Esra Lufkin is such a wonderful example for the other girls." Madame Maxime had said in a hushed tone. "I understand that it must be very difficult for her, but she always manages to pull through splendidly."

"How so?" The professor had whispered.

"Well..." Madame Maxime looked hesitant. "You must promise to keep this in the strictest confidence."

"Of course." The professor said, her eyes already overflowing with compassion.

"Esra's parents were muggles..."

"No!" The professor whispered, shocked. "But she has been telling everyone..."

"I'm afraid she has a very active imagination." Madame Maxime interuppted. "It really is the saddest thing. As soon as her magical abilities started to show her parents reacted quite harshly. Her parents were living in Paris at the time, and were more than happy to be rid of her here. Poor thing! They paid for all seven years up front, and then simply vanished. They told her they never wanted to hear from her again, and they certainly haven't tried to contact her. "

"Can you imagine doing that to an eleven year old child?" The professor gasped. "Where do you think they went?"

"Esra claims they said something about moving to America, but the young girl creates such fantasies when it comes to her parents. I'm almost positive they are back home in England now."

"Oh, that is so sad!" The professor exclaimed.

Livia had listened as her heart first beat with anger and then swelled with pity. She was livid that her friend had lied to her, but could not imagine what it must have been like for her. Livia had never spoken of the incident to anyone, even to Esra. She let her spin her tales of her days of pureblood grander, never revealing that she knew the truth.

"Are you awake?' Esra whispered groggily, burrowing into her blankets.

"I have been for a while." Livia whispered back, grateful her friend was here.

"Are you ready for today?" Esra asked, sitting up slowly and yawning.

"Yes. I just wish I didn't have to wear that ugly pink dress. I think Narcissa just wants to punish me by making me wear it. I don't think she likes me very much." Livia said, silently wishing that she wasn't in the wedding party. It seemed an horribly boring way to waste a fine summer's day. Esra probably wouldn't understand. She thought a wedding was the most exciting thing in the entire world. Of course, when it was her turn she would be standing next a man she actually _wanted _to marry.

The morning past in a flurry of activity and excitement. Livia had helped Narcissa dress, as a gesture of kindness towards the woman that would be her sister in a only a few short hours. Esra had satquietly in the corner,gazingadmiringlyat the new bride. Bellatrix had been thereas well, but seemed to be more content reminding her sister of various family shortcomings than to offer her any support.

The ceremony was short, and afterwards the guests strolled the garden. At first Livia had followed Narcissa, holding the back of her dress up for her so it wouldn't get dirty as she accepted congratulations.

"Are you happy?" Livia had boldly asked her new sister, when they were finally alone.

She had known Narcissa for many years, but didn't know her well. She knew that she was pretty and quiet, and was well known for her domestic talents. Other than that, Narcissa was no more intimate to her than a stranger.

"What kind of a question is that?" Narcissa had asked.

Though her voice was not quite cold, there was a warning in her tone.

"You just look very happy, that's all." Livia recovered, forcing herself to smile brightly.

"I'm going to go and sit a while. Go to your friends." Narcissa sighed, the weight of her dress and the summer's heat making her weary.

Liviafound Esra sitting under the sweeping tendrils of their willow tree along side Regulus, entertaining him with a lively story. She gestured wildly with her hands, and even from a distance Livia could see how widely he was smiling.

"You look like you're having fun." Livia sat down on the grass beside them, leaning her head on Esra's shoulder.

Esra giggled, and Regulus reddened. Livia rolled her eyes at the younger boy, she had too many memories of him following her around at holiday gatherings and either whining about something or trying to kiss her.

"Who is your friend?" Livia suddenly asked, her eyes resting on Severus Snape.

He was standing on the outskirts of a small group of boys about her age. As she watched they all burst in a loud fit of howling laughter, everyone but Severus. He smiled weakly, his eyes flitting in her direction. He had been staring at her all through dinner the night before. While Livia normally refused the attention of boys (it was all pointless anyway), or found it plainly distasteful, with Severus she strangely didn't mind. In fact, she found it flattering.

"You mean Severus?" Regulus looked shocked that she would have even noticed him.

"I know his name." Livia scowled. "I mean, what is he like?"

Regulus ignored her, and glanced longingly in Esra's direction. Livia fought the urge to slap him. He was such a little git.

"Oh, he's alright." Regulus said, only after Livia won back his attention by jabbing him in the side. "He's pretty quiet, but he taught me all the dark magic I know."

Regulus puffed out his chest and held out his wand, as if this alone would demonstrate some sort of unbelievable ability.

"Then either he's a bad teacher or you're just a horrible student." Esra laughed, but Regulus looked crushed.

"I think I'd like to talk to him." Livia said, glaring at Regulus.

"What?" Regulus stammered for a moment. "Oh, right. Well, I'll see what I can do."

But a moment later he was engrossed in Esra again. This time telling her all about how his brother had run away from home, and how he had bravely tried to stop him.

"You liar!" Livia hissed, hitting him in the arm, perhaps a little harder than she meant too.

She got up and shook out her dress. She would just have to find him herself. It wasn't exactly proper, but she had done it last night, hadn't she?

She had not gotten very far before a distinctly familiar voice stopped her dead in her tracks.

"Ah Livia, you look more beautiful than ever."

"Mr. Lestrange, a pleasure as always." She quickly turned to face the older man, holding her chin up in the air but saying nothing more.

He knew well enough how she truly felt about him, there was no need for any added theatrics.

"I've asked so many times dear Livia, please call me Rabastan. People will think its strange when are husband and wife if you call me Mr. Lestrange, won't they?"

"When we are married I will call you whatever you wish. Now excuse me Mr. Lestrange, I was looking for someone."

Rabastan laughed, but reached out and grabbed onto her arm. There was a look of warning in his eyes, one that she didn't like.

"You are my date this evening, there's no need to wander off. I see your friend has found company."

Livia glanced towards Esra. She was looking in their direction, a storm cloud of emotion brewing behind her hazel eyes. There was no love lost between Esra and Livia's intended, and she knew well enough that as soon as they were married he would probably try to keep her from seeing her one true friend. She desperately pleaded with her eyes for Esra to stay where she was, it wouldn't help matters to have a confrontation.

"Help me find Narcissa." Livia whispered, defeated.

Rabastan led her away from her friends, speaking to her a proudsweeping voiceof the house he was building.

"Of course, it is not nearly as large as your mansion..."

They approached Severus, he was standing alone now, looking both venerable and guarded. His arms were drawn up across his chest in a defense gesture, but his expression was calm and untroubled.

"I must bring you to see the land. It is surrounded by woods with a lovely stream running through it, very much like the fine park you and Lucius have here..."

Livia stepped away from Rabastan slightly, just enough so if Severus did not move she might be close enough to touch him. She wouldn't actually touch him of course, it was more the though of it that was exciting.

"I've spared no expense on the carriage house, though I can't decide whether I would rather have horses or thestrals..."

Severus looked up, his gaze betraying his surprise. He moved as if he might step out of her way, but then thought better of it. As she closed the gap between them she quickly changed her path, so their shoulders would brush. She smiled at him as she passed, and fought back a strange gleeful feeling as his face reddened.

"Livia!" Rabastan nearly shouted.

"What?" Livia asked breathlessly.

"I asked you a question, haven't been listening?" There was a lingering impatience in his voice.

"Its just the heat." Livia said coldly. "I feel a little faint."

Rabastan ignored both her frosty response and her complaint, and continued to talk. In fact, he remained glued to her side all through dinner, and then late into the evening. She saw Severus once more, and smiled at him. After a moment of looking shocked he gave her a hestiant smile back. She longed to talk to him again, but could only escape Rabastan under the premise of going to bed.

She meant to sneak out again, but then Esra had come in and started giggling about Regulus. Before Livia knew it she had fallen asleep, and by the time she woke up the next morning Severus had already gone.


	7. A Meeting

_A/N: Sorry this chapter had taken so long. I apologize, especially to the people that have been nice enough to review for me : )_

Severus stood in the small garden, his back hunched as he surveyed the damage that had been done. The plants that his house elf Tiffy had so carefully planted had been yanked from the ground, and lay scattered about in mess of leaves, stems, and soil. He had no illusions of what he would return home to, but he had not expected this.

Tiffy sat on the back steps, sobbing into the pillow case that she wore fashioned as an apron. Her small thin body was trembling so violently Severus was afraid she was going to make herself sick.

"Stop crying Tiffy!" Severus ordered, not meaning to be harsh but not knowing any other way to get her attention.

Tiffy stopped sobbing at once, but continued to sniffle as Severus kicked aside the butchered plants, sighing sadly.

"Do you think it might have been gnomes?" He asked.

The house elf shook her head, and blew her nose into her apron. He cringed, and then glanced fearfully at the back door. His father was probably still asleep, but if he saw this mess he would be angry...

"Tiffy, let's just clean this up." He sighed. "I don't care how it happened, but let's not give my father a reason to get mad."

This was the first year that Severus had been allowed to use magic outside of school. Not that it had ever stopped him before. In fact, he felt as if he used more practical magic at home than he ever did at school. Casting a few well placed charms, he watched as the plants began to repair themselves, and then slowly sink back into the warm brown soil.

He was startled by a sudden screech, and nearly thrown off of his feet when Tiffy ran to him, launching herself around his legs. On instinct Severus looked up, losing his balance in the process. Tiffy was sobbing again, but she was ignored. His attention was on the unfamiliar owl that was circling the fallow field that lay beside their house. From a distance it was hard to tell if it was carrying a message. It might just be out hunting, though that would be odd during the day. There was another wizarding family that lived a few miles away, perhaps it was theirs.

"Tiffy, get off!" Severus ordered, rising to his feet and repairing the last of the garden with a flick of his wand.

He glanced up at the sky, but the owl had disappeared. After warning Tiffy to be quiet, Severus led her into the darkened house. Thankfully he was right, his father was still sleeping. He had left Malfoy Manor as soon as it was light, mostly to avoid a confrontation with his father. Whenever he left home he always arrived back to some kind of disaster, either his father was slapping Tiffy around, or he had gotten drunk and gambled away the last of the jewelry his mother had left behind. If it wasn't one thing, it was another.

It was better to get home early and assess the damage right off, than to just have to deal with it later when it might be worse.

How badly he had wanted to stay! He desperately wanted to see Livia again, to speak to her, to breath in her beauty with his eyes. She noticed him, he finally convinced himself that she had. If only he could just have a few moments with her. Of course, in the world of fantasy he knew exactly what he would say. In reality, he knew would stammer over his words and look like a fool.

He had wanted to see Bellatrix again as well. The details of their darkened meeting seemed so unreal he was not completely sure that it had not been a dream. He could see it all being a joke. There really was no secret group, and if there was, what would they want with him anyway? He had never been well liked, and even though he dark magic was something to be admired, he doubted that would be enough to earn him anyone's attention for very long.

"I'm going to go and study for a while." He whispered to Tiffy.

The house elf didn't respond, she was sittingbeside the garden,staring off into space. Severus frowned, Tiffy had been with them since before his mother had left. Maybe she was getting senile? How old were house elves supposed to live anyway?

Silently cursing himself for thinking that way about Tiffy, Severus walked quietly upstairs. It was hard to keep the wood floor board from creaking under his feet, and he began to perspire from the effort. He swore that his father had some sort of supernatural hearing, especially if he was looking for something to be angry about.

Carefully pushing his door shut, he sat on his unmade bed (what had Tiffy been doing this whole time?), and took out his wand. He bent over, and reached under the bed for the book he kept hidden there. He guessed it had once been his father's, because he had found it in the attic, stuck in a pile of discarded old school books. In this book were some of the worst spells that Severus had imagined, along with very detailed instructions on how they could be used. Every so often, as he read, Severus would feel his heart start to race as he recognized a particularly nasty spell that his father had used on him. Even though his father was intent on teaching him dark magic, he was sure there was only so much he wanted him to know. Surly not more than he, because then what would stop Severus from using what he had learned against his father? It was better to keep this book hidden.

He read over a particularly damaging spell several times, and then searched the room for something to practice it on. He liked using spiders, but flies would do. He saw one in the corner beside his next, resting on its web. Severus trapped it between his hands, and then lay it out on the desk. The spider appeared to be paralyzed with fright, its small body pressed up against the worn splintery wood.

Just as he was about to raise his wand and attempt the spell, a hooting sound caught his attention. Startled, Severus turned on his heels. The owl he had seen before, it was now sitting on his window, something clutched in its beak.

"Get out of here you stupid bird!" Severus hissed, hoping the noise had not woken his father.

The owl looked at him indignantly, and then with a flap of its large wings, flew into the room and sat on his desk.

"You squashed my spider." He said quietly, annoyed that he would now have to find another.

The owl cocked its head, confused. Severus groaned as it droppeda dead mouse from its beak, and then used its talons to push it towards him.

"You brought me a present?" He sneered.

He was seriously considering hexing the mettlesome owl, when he caught sight of something tied to its leg. Lowering his wand Severus took a tentative step towards it. The owl hooted softly, but did not protest when he reached underneath its feathers to untie what it carried.

It was a small piece of parchment, which Severus quickly unrolled. His heart sunk when he realized it was blank. He wasn't sure what he was hoping for. Maybe a message from Bellatrix? Feeling extremely dumb he threw his arms up in the air, frightening the owl away. It flew onto the windowsill, and after hooting angrily at him for a moment, flapped its wings and took off into the sky.

"Good riddance!" Severus whispered fiercely.

Why would someone send him a blank piece of paper? What was the point of that? Deciding it must have been meant for someone else, someone who didn't like to buy parchment, Severus turned his attention to the mouse laying on his desk.

He was use to handling dead animals, he had cut up frogs in potions class after all. Grabbing it with his bare hand, he decided he would just throw it out the window and be done with it. He had actually gotten half way across the room before it hit him. There was an intense, almost painful tugging sensation around his navel, and the room began to swirl around him so quickly he feared he might be ill.

A portkey! Steeling his eyes shut, Severus had no time to wonder where it was taking him. Before he had time to even drew in another breath he felt solid ground under his feet again. He staggered, throwing his eyes open. Fighting the urge to be sick, he dropped down onto his knees until the room stopped spinning. Once he was able to see straight again, he gave a cautious look to his surroundings. He was in a large, musty stone room. It appeared to be someone's cellar, only larger. It also appeared that he was alone.

Brushing the dirt from his pants, Severus got up and looked around. There weren't any windows, the room's dim light coming from the row of sconces that lined the walls. There was only one door. He tugged on it, gently at first in case anyone was out there waiting, and then harder. It was either locked or stuck.

Severus fought the urge to panic. What if he was stuck in here forever? No one would know where to look for him, not that his father would even bother looking. Of course, he always apparate out. But he would much rather have some idea of where he was before trying.

He paced the room for a few minutes, and then gave a frustrated sigh. This was by far the strangest thing that had ever happened to him.

A shout of surprise escaped his lips when a loud crack broke the silence around him, and Bellatrix appeared before him.

"Don't be so excitable Snape." She said calmly, taking a moment to smooth her dark hair down into place.

Severus took a moment to collect himself. He wondered if he should be afraid.

"I wasn't expecting you so soon." Bellatrix continued. "But here you are."

She sauntered over slowly, and placed a hand on his shoulder. She stared into his eyes, her gaze so intense that he became frightened. His eyes darted away, and rested on the cold stone wall behind her. He could tell she was still staring him down, and he felt a unnatural shiver rip through his thin body.

"W-What am I doing here?" He asked hesitantly, nearly too afraid to breath.

She was standing so close that he could smell the heavy scent of her perfume. He wanted badly to back away and put a safe distance between them, but he was to scared of what she might do if he made her angry.

"You didn't read my message, did you Snape?" She asked, pressing her hand down so hard on his shoulder he knew it would leave a bruise.

"I didn't know...I didn't think to try and decode it." He confessed, his knees beginning to quiver which such an intensity he feared they would give out at any moment and send him crashing to the floor.

"You can't be very clever, can you Snape?" Bellatrix whispered in a soft, meaningful tone.. "But that's no matter."

Severus swallowed audibly. He wiped his sweating palms on his pant leg, fearing to even wonder how this would end. Maybe she had lured him here to murder him. Bellatrix had never seemed the sanest person to begin with, and he had heard of cases like this. Youngstupidteenagersgoing missing, their bodies never found. Suddenly he was too scared to glance anywhere but straight ahead. Could their be dusty piles of bones in the darkened corners. Had he not looked closely enough?

"I'm going to tell you a story." She said, pulling her hand off his shoulder and pacing the room. "Have you ever nearly drown?"

She waited for his reply, which he gave as a quick shake of his head. He was suddenly too frightened to speak, wondering if this story would someone end in his untimely demise, but very perplexed at the same time.

"I did once, when I was very young. I had gone swimming in the river, and waded out too far. The current pushed me under, and it seemed I was lost all at once. I couldn't tell the river bottom from the sky, and the frigid water was in my mouth, burning in my throat. There was the curious feeling of pain in my chest, of a single breath yearning to be free. Soon it became unbearable, like a fire that was going to rip me apart. Just as the world began to fade away, my father dove in and grabbed onto my wrist, and he pulled me to the surface. Snape, there is no way to describe that first breath of glorious air. You know its all you've ever wanted and you'll never need anything more. It's the moment you've come alive again after lingering so close to death. Nothing else will ever be so beautiful again."

Severus watched her lips as she spoke, listening so carefully to eveyr word that nothing else existed in that moment except for her, and the story she weaved from her blood red lips. He had completely forgotten himself in the moment, for he too could feel his chest burn. He could feel the water splashing about his ears. He could taste the sweetness of that first wonderful breath as it caressed his lips.

"Do you know why I'm telling you this Snape?"

She continued, without giving him a chance to answer. He knew she did not expect him to understand.

"That is what he is like. That breath, that feeling. He is all there is, until there is nothing else. And you need nothing else."

Bellatrix stated at him, waiting for a great moment of revelation. Severus shifted his weight from one foot to the other, trying to mask his confusion for as long as he possibly could.

"Is that all Snape!" Bellatrix shouted. "I am trying to make a point, and all you can do is look down at your shoes like a idiot?"

"I don't mean to." He said quickly. "I just don't understand. Who is 'he'?"

Bellatrix stared at him for a moment, her mouth hanging open slightly. She looked like she was going to speak several times, but then continued to gape at him.

"I know you aren't witty enough to be joking, and you have thank Merlin for that." She said at last. "I really thought you were brighter than this Snape, but I suspect not."

His face reddened, and he anxiously picked at a loose thread hanging from his sleeve. It wasn't his fault that he was always left out, that everyone should know the prized information that he did not. Thankfully, he realized that Bellatrix must have understood this, because she did not seem really displeased, merely surprised.

"I'm speaking of the Dark Lord." She whispered with a deep reverence in her voice. "Of our Lord, that is, if you still are interested Snape."

He took in a deep breath, still unable to grasp that this was really happening. Had he really been in his bedroom only moments ago? This was till too unreal to seem anything but a dream.

"You must decide now, because after this point there is no turning back." Bellatrix warned. "Big things are happening Snape, things that your dull little mind could not even begin to comprehend. He can give you power, he can make you one of us. Everything is going to change, sooner than you could possibly believe. You will the world's greatest fool if are not part of it, with us."

Severus was intoxicated. There was a weight to her words, a promise of an existence not yet explored. There were times when life seemed an impossible obstacle, a great ocean that could never be crossed. What she was offering him was beyond the tangible, it was hope and belonging, that glorious feeling of having done _something_ with his life.

"How do I..."

Bellatrix cut him off with a wave of her hand. There was no anger in her dark eyes, and she wore a serene smile that seemed out of place on her sharp, angular face.

"Everything has been taken care of. Why did you think I brought you here today? For tea?" Bellatrix laughed, a deep throaty sound that made the fine hairs on his arms prickle with electricity.

Severus stood silently for a moment, considering something. He wondered if he dared to ask her, but suddenly it didn't seem he had so much to lose anymore. Obviously she approved of him, or else he wouldn't be here.

"What if I had said I wasn't interested?" He asked her. "What would have happened then?"

"Snape." She said, sighing deeply. "I knew you were going to say yes. I know your type, I know everything about you."

He nodded, satisfied. Still, she continued.

"And if you had said no, it would not have mattered much to me. However, I'm sure it would have mattered a great deal to you. There's a funny thing about life Snape, you do manage to become rather attached to it."

Bellatrix turned towards the door, but slowly enough that Severus could catch the brutal grin on her face. The rational part of his mind tried to convince him that she had been joking, but in his gut he knew it was true. If he had more time he might have sat and wondered what he gotten himself into, and pondered what exactly the fates had conjured up for him.

"It will be tonight Snape." Bellatrix said, smiling wickedly. "You might as well stay with me in the meantime. There are some people I'll want to introduce you to..."

There was no time for thought or fear, only action. With hesitant steps Severus followed the dark beauty out of the dungeon door, and out to face whatever fate awaited him.


	8. Her Past

_A/N: Thank you to my reviewers...sorry this chapter has taken so long_

On the day that her father died, Livia thought she had died as well. She had loved her father with an unrestrained heart. She had never known her mother, and Lucius could be cold and distant. Her father was her world, her only heart. With his death, she felt like a ship lost at sea.

Lucius would complain that she had always been her father's favorite, and she knew it was the truth. Lucius was his heir, but Livia was the child he had always wanted. He was proud of her striking beauty, he admired her wit and intelligence, and he encouraged a fierceness within her that was the true mark of a survivor. He let her run free, often she would return to the manor late after supper, twigs and grass matted into her soft blond hair.

Mr. Malfoy would nod at the advice he received from the women that had been his late wife's friends. They worried that he would spoil her, that no upstanding pureblooded man would want a wild spirit for a wife. He resisted their efforts to mold her into the image that they wanted, a solemn obedient girl who spoke softly and never forgot her place. In time they would whisper that he had gone soft, that he had spent too much time with the muggle loving underbelly of society. This was only half the truth, it had broken his heart to love her mother, who have been perfect but broken. She could not express a thought that was her own, and the weight of her utter reliance had been crushing. His wife had never done anything to displease him, but she had never made him laugh. She had never shared her favorite memory, told him a secret she would share with no one else, or brushed her lips against his own merely because it made her happy.

He was settled that his daughter would not be this woman, but a different one entirely. Sadly, fate had intervened much too soon.

He had fallen ill, and within a week he was dead. Livia had been rushed home, and had been there during his final hours of life. He never woke, but she stayed by his side throughout the long night, her small warm hands clasped in his. Lucius had drifted in and out of the room, his expression growing more troubled as the hours passed. Before the first light of dawn had lit the horizon Mr. Malfoy had passed, and Lucius found himself the new lord of Malfoy Manor.

At first Livia had been awash with grief, moving about like she was in a cloud. Nothing made sense to her, all she knew was that her life had suddenly and sharply ended. Without her father she felt like she was waking each a day a different person, drained of all color and life. She had the odd feeling of being a doll, carried around from room to room, propped up in different positions in a harsh charade of life.

A week later she found herself being led into a cramped lawyer's office, where she was sat upon a dusty velvet couch. The lawyer, a man that looked to be older than time, offered her a cup of tea. She watched as his wrinkled thin hands struggled with a chipped flowered cup, even his fingernails were yellowed with age. The tea was weak, and much too sweet.

When the lawyer began to read the will she started to feel faint. Mrs. Black, who had been there for some unknown reason, led her to the window. Sitting on the windowsill, a frigid draft blowing over her burning face, she let her cloud of grief lift for the briefest moment. Mrs. Black gasped, pulling her hands from Livia's shoulders and up over her mouth. Lucius had grown pale, his hands shaking with anger.

"What?" Livia demanded, speaking for the first time in days.

The lawyer paused, the effort of speech draining him of all his energy.

"Half the estate dear...you've been given half the estate."

Livia gasped as well, she had not expected such generosity from her father. She held back tears of gratitude, for this was a final showing of his love. She made a show of ignoring Lucius's indignant expression, which perhaps was a mistake.

The next morning Lucius stormed into her bedroom, wearing a look of devilish pride. Livia had sunk back down into the cloud of grief, and ignored him at first. It was only when he tossed something in her direction did she resurface.

"What is this Lucius?" She asked, reaching for the scroll he had thrown at her.

She unrolled it, her eyes too bleary from exhaustion to read it clearly.

"It is your marriage contract, dear sister." He said triumphantly. "I signed it today."

Livia grew rigid. Her head spun, and she could feel bile begin to rise up in her throat. How could he do this to her? Father had promised it would be her decision...he had promised.

"Who?" She asked weakly, bent over as if she would sick any moment.

"Rabastan Lestrange. Mrs. Black was very intent on you marrying Regulus, but after all that business with Sirius, well...where there is one rotten apple there is bound to be more."

Livia groaned painfully, praying that she would not be sick.

"You've never liked Rabastan." She croaked out, with great effort.

"That doesn't matter now." Lucius snapped. "He has enough money of his own that he won't even need to touch yours, and he was quite forceful that he should marry you."

There was a bitterness in his voice that shocked Livia. She knew what this was. It was revenge. For being father's favorite, for inheriting what he thought should be his alone. In that single harsh moment, everything she thought she knew began to crumble away.

---

Livia buried her face into her book, and tried very hard not to laugh. Beside her, she could feel Esra's body quaking with silent laugher. It took all her willpower not to explode into a loud fit of hysterics.

Across the room Narcissa was standing in front of the a small gathering of house elves, apparently trying to explain that she was the new lady of the mansion. Lucius stood beside her, doing his best not to fall into a deadly fit of rage by the looks of it. Either the house elves had decided that Narcissa was unfit (after all she had only been married to Lucius since yesterday), or they did not rightly understand the concept of marriage.

"Yes, but when will she be leaving sir?" One particularly bold elf asked.

This sent both Lucius and Livia over the brink. Lucius thrust his hands around the elf's neck and lifted it up off the floor, while Livia jumped to her feet and tried to protest through her roaring laughter.

"It isn't funny." Narcissa snapped. "In fact, the two of you have been acting like troublesome children all day. You will not behave in this manner in my house."

"Don't forget this mansion and everything in it belongs to me as well." Livia said, once her laugher had died down.

Narcissa sighed, trying very hard not to lose her temper. She looked like she was about to say something, when a heavy knock on the door disrupted the silence.

"Come in." Lucius snapped, dropping the house elf to the floor.

It quickly scrambled away, hiding behind the others. Livia smiled at him, hoping that the poor thing wasn't about to die of fright.

"I hope I'm not disturbing anything." Rabastan Lestrange said, walking through doorway with a saunter that suggested he didn't really care if he had. "I need to have a quick word with Livia."

Livia suddenly went rigid, turning and giving Esra a knowing glance. Rabastan gestured for her to follow him out into the hall, but Lucius jumped in before she had taken a single step.

"Whatever you need to say to her, you can say in front of me." Lucius said, a nasty sneer on his face.

Dealing with Lucius when he was in a good mood was difficult, and nearly impossible in moments like these.

"Fine." Rabastan said, clearly taken aback. "I need to talk to Livia about tonight. I would like her to accompany me somewhere tonight."

"Where?" Lucius demanded, in a tone that suggested he already new the answer.

"Lucius..." Rabastan ground his teeth together, and then sighed. "We've been through this already..."

"Yes we have." Lucius said loudly. "And _I _decided that it is not in my sister's interest to be involved in this in any way. Is that understood?"

Livia and Esra traded curious glances. What was this all about?

"Lucius, would you just listen to me!" Rabastan shouted. "Can you do that for one second? Or is that too difficult?"

Lucius looked like he might reach for his wand, but then let his hand fall to his side.

"She wouldn't have to take the mark Lucius." Rabastan dropped his voice down to a whisper. "It's already been decided. We will only be strong if every one is involved. Even she can contribute."

"What mark?" Livia asked, but was quickly silenced by a scornful look from Narcissa.

"It is a poor reflection on both of us if she doesn't go." Rabastan reasoned. "I swear that no harm will come to her."

Lucius paused, and then sighed deeply.

"I'll bring her then. I'll take the responsibility for her." Lucius said, sounding more protective than Livia had ever heard him.

"Fine." Rabastan nodded, looking slightly bitter. "I'll see you tonight then."

He nodded sharply in Livia's direction, and then turned quickly left the room.

"What was that about?" Livia demanded, but was met only with cold stares.

Narcissa looked more distressed than angry, and Lucius was not exactly smiling himself.

"Where are we going?" Livia asked, pleading for an answer.

"Can I come?" Esra innocently piped in.

"Be quiet you stupid girl!" Narcissa began, but silenced by a wave of Lucius's hand.

He crossed the room slowly, eyeing Esra as if he were seeing her for the first time. He titled his head, and rested his chin in his hand. Esra was unsure of what to do. It was obvious he wasn't trying to hide his staring, and she was unsure if she should say anything.

"What's wrong with you?" Livia burst out, her cheeks tinged red with embarrassment. "You aren't being very polite."

She was ignored, as Lucius narrowed his eyes at Esra, and then gestured for his wife to step forward.

"You look tired, go upstairs and take a rest." He told Narcissa. "Bring my sister with you."

Livia opened her mouth, intended to protest, but was quickly shushed by her new sister-in-law.

"You looked peaked." Narcissa descended on Livia, taking her by the elbow and leading her towards the door. "Some rest will do you wonders."

As they walked from the room she heard Lucius cold voice, echoing slightly off of the high painted ceilings.

"Now Esra, if you want to come along I have to ask you a question first. Now please be honest. How do you feel about mudbloods..."


End file.
